My photo
Bronx, New York, United States



Options are a horrible HORRIBLE thing to have.

If there is anything you learn about me is that I'm a confusing and confused individual at the same time (among other things). There is rarely a time in my life in which I can say I know exactly what I want; except when it comes to my future; I know precisely what I want from that. Relationships are the focal point of this post due to them confusing the hell out of me. I'll focus on my recent situation.

It's been 8 months & about 2 weeks now, and Ive done almost everything a person In Love does for and with this person. Ive even traveled out the state for a week, and that, to me, is a big step in a relationship. This person has pretty much EVERYTHING Ive ever asked for in a partner. U'd think I'd be content. Ive learned through time and experiences that nobody is ever 100% happy. I wanted/want the educated, goal orientated, crazy ill swag having, mind & back blowing sex giving, fashion forward, excitement driven, cute face & body having, wit spitting, sarcastic, sense of humor having individual. I had found 95% of what I like to call "The Ozzy Cocktail". So the question naturally comes about..."Why aren't you jumping and howling like the bangees?" "cuz!, honestly...I'm Ozzy".

It was past awsome for about 8 months. But 2 weeks can fuck a dudes mind up...well not any dude...just me. I slowly started finding myself loosing interest (not love) and growing interest for another. Now I'm not the type to cheat on somebody that's treated me like the King that I am for so long (unless theres reason to). So I started to distance myself physically but my emotions where 2 steps ahead. I felt horrible...truthfully did; & whats even worse is I couldn't pin-point why I was feeling that way.

*...::Fast Forward::...*

We didn't speak for 3 days and I finally get a call. We spoke about almost I was feeling, how he was feeling, how we should be feeling and tons more. During our almost hour long convo I realized I needed to depart from a relationship that was getting sour before it got completely bitter. Ultimately we decided to give me some space and time to make my mind up and become 100% sure that I was going to haul through our highly anticipated long-term relationship. I was fine with that decision cuz honestly that's what I needed and wanted. But about 4 days later I get call telling me its not working; My "nonchalantness" kicked in like the "itis" after a huge meal on a hot summer Sunday. I basically hung up with a classic "Are you done yet?..." and that was the end of that; bitterness in my mouth and everything. Do i regret it? hell yeah! I do. Cuz this individual didn't deserve that.

In conclusion, I'm stuck, indecisive, confused, slightly livid, sad and strangely relieved all at the same time. I'm going through an emotional roller coaster that's gona leave me in some serious distraught. So there u have it in a 4 paragraph nutshell the collapse of an "empire" the O&D Empire.